3 Year Olds

The most important thing to remember about 3 year olds is that they are out to get you. You think that you are safe sleeping in your bed at night? Think again! Sleeping is a luxury afforded only to those without 3 yr olds. You might be sleeping soundly dreaming of fluffy bunny rabbits or white unicorns, when BAM! You are awoken by the horrible screams coming from another room. So disoriented that you flop and twitch sideways out of bed. You end up on your floor with your bottom still halfway in the air, and still the screams continue on and on. There really is no escape from the feeling in the pit of your stomach as you lay there. You will have to get up. It’s inevitable. There is no quieting down or going back to sleep without you.

Another night you might be sleeping soundly, once again, when you hear a slight crinkling noise from the end of your bed. Your first thought, BURGULAR! You bolt upright in your bed only to see strangely enlarged eyes staring back at you. A faint suckling noise reaches your ears and you realize that your 3 yr old has once more gotten the better of you. They are standing at the end of your bed, sucking their thumb, watching you as you sleep.

Let’s face it. They are always watching you. They wait, they stare, they are constantly following you with their eyes. If you slip up and yell a swear word as you burn yourself making dinner, rest assured you will hear that same word come out of their mouth the next day, almost always in some embarassingly public place. There is no escape for the parent of a 3 yr old. 3 yr olds are the most sophisticated form of torture ever invented and they will break you. It may take a little longer than it does the other parents, but know this: YOU WILL BREAK.

 

Don’t let this thought discourage you though. When you do break, you are just letting in all the love that only the parent of a 3 yr old can understand.